between
seasons,
beauty shines through
when all is laid
bare
Photo credit: meeee :)
11.23.2012
Poem 1
Even in the time
between
seasons,
beauty shines through
when all is laid
bare
Photo credit: meeee :)
between
seasons,
beauty shines through
when all is laid
bare
Photo credit: meeee :)
11.21.2012
I Have Made Mistakes
I have made mistakes, I continue to make them
the promises I've made, I continue to break them
and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them
but nothing is a waste if you learn from it
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
we have lived in fear, and our fear has betrayed us
but we will overcome the apathy that has made us
because we are not alone in the dark with our demons
and we have made mistakes
but we've learned from them
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
and oh my heart, how can I face you now?
when we both know how badly I have let you down
and I am afraid of all I've built
fading away
Artist: The Oh Hello's
Song: I Have Made Mistakes
Album: Through the Deep, Dark Valley
I like sunshine. I like it a lot actually. This may be because I live in a basement currently, and it feels like 5 am down there at 5 am and at noon and at 10 pm. I like sunshine when its beams find my face and warm not only my body but also my soul.
I also enjoy rain, as long as my feet don't get wet. I like rain a lot more lately because it can no longer find its way down my walls to stream across my floor. I like rain when it falls hard and steady and the beating against the ground or my car roof drowns out all the other noise in my life.
This song is one of my favorites by one of my newly favorite bands. For various and sundry reasons, all of the lyrics resonate strongly with me at this time. I am, however, struggling with the sun and rain lyrics. What immediately pops into my head when I think "sun" and "grow" and "rain" are plants. I don't know why, which is part of the reason I'm writing this--I need to see these lyrics for growing people and stop thinking about them as for plants (because plants DO need sun AND rain). Haha! It's just silly.
If I can keep myself completely in humanity and not go off into the jungle, I do think I agree with the lyrics, and I feel like that should be painfully obvious to me and keep the plants out of my mind. What sunny time in one's life was as huge of a catalyst for change and growth as a rainy period? I'm not saying sunny times are bad or that one cannot grow during sunny times. Progress in one's life can be made during laugh-filled adventures down wide avenues lit brightly by the sun. Those are indeed good times, and they are comfortable times. As much as I enjoy my sunny days, I enjoy my sunny days, I look back on them, and I see that eventually they lead to stagnation, and then comes the rain.
Oh how it rains sometimes. And, as a good friend of mine said, "And oh how you learn." The learning curve can be quite steep during the rain. Sometimes you'll slide right back to the beginning of it because you don't know how to--or don't want to--dig in and hold on while you pull yourself, tooth and nail, up the hill.
Eventually you may want to fight. You'll grow tired of sitting with your mistakes in the mud. Stand up. Let the rain wash over you, clean you off. It's never too late to start climbing again. It's never wrong to want to see the sun, to work to make it to the top of the hill, and to have the sun warm you from your soggy, frostbitten toes to your wet, stringy, matted hair.
Just remember, we humans do need both rain and sunshine. How can we enjoy the dry warmth of the sun radiating down on us that shows off all of our best, brightest colors without also having the rain to push us through growth spurts up, up, up closer to the sun?
the promises I've made, I continue to break them
and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them
but nothing is a waste if you learn from it
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
we have lived in fear, and our fear has betrayed us
but we will overcome the apathy that has made us
because we are not alone in the dark with our demons
and we have made mistakes
but we've learned from them
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
and oh my heart, how can I face you now?
when we both know how badly I have let you down
and I am afraid of all I've built
fading away
Artist: The Oh Hello's
Song: I Have Made Mistakes
Album: Through the Deep, Dark Valley
I like sunshine. I like it a lot actually. This may be because I live in a basement currently, and it feels like 5 am down there at 5 am and at noon and at 10 pm. I like sunshine when its beams find my face and warm not only my body but also my soul.
I also enjoy rain, as long as my feet don't get wet. I like rain a lot more lately because it can no longer find its way down my walls to stream across my floor. I like rain when it falls hard and steady and the beating against the ground or my car roof drowns out all the other noise in my life.
This song is one of my favorites by one of my newly favorite bands. For various and sundry reasons, all of the lyrics resonate strongly with me at this time. I am, however, struggling with the sun and rain lyrics. What immediately pops into my head when I think "sun" and "grow" and "rain" are plants. I don't know why, which is part of the reason I'm writing this--I need to see these lyrics for growing people and stop thinking about them as for plants (because plants DO need sun AND rain). Haha! It's just silly.
If I can keep myself completely in humanity and not go off into the jungle, I do think I agree with the lyrics, and I feel like that should be painfully obvious to me and keep the plants out of my mind. What sunny time in one's life was as huge of a catalyst for change and growth as a rainy period? I'm not saying sunny times are bad or that one cannot grow during sunny times. Progress in one's life can be made during laugh-filled adventures down wide avenues lit brightly by the sun. Those are indeed good times, and they are comfortable times. As much as I enjoy my sunny days, I enjoy my sunny days, I look back on them, and I see that eventually they lead to stagnation, and then comes the rain.
Oh how it rains sometimes. And, as a good friend of mine said, "And oh how you learn." The learning curve can be quite steep during the rain. Sometimes you'll slide right back to the beginning of it because you don't know how to--or don't want to--dig in and hold on while you pull yourself, tooth and nail, up the hill.
Eventually you may want to fight. You'll grow tired of sitting with your mistakes in the mud. Stand up. Let the rain wash over you, clean you off. It's never too late to start climbing again. It's never wrong to want to see the sun, to work to make it to the top of the hill, and to have the sun warm you from your soggy, frostbitten toes to your wet, stringy, matted hair.
Just remember, we humans do need both rain and sunshine. How can we enjoy the dry warmth of the sun radiating down on us that shows off all of our best, brightest colors without also having the rain to push us through growth spurts up, up, up closer to the sun?
10.02.2012
Terror of the blank screen
You know what it is?
There are moments when it isn't our race, religion, orientation, or some feeble glass ceiling.
Sometimes we are too scared of having the right idea, of making it big, of being right.
We sabotage ourselves.
We tell ourselves, not explicitly but definitely intentionally, that we can't do something, that we will be wrong, or worse: that we will be right.
Why?
Why are we afraid of what we can do?
Why do we hold ourselves back?
Why are we terrified of our own brains?
Why are we scared of being right?
There are moments when it isn't our race, religion, orientation, or some feeble glass ceiling.
Sometimes we are too scared of having the right idea, of making it big, of being right.
We sabotage ourselves.
We tell ourselves, not explicitly but definitely intentionally, that we can't do something, that we will be wrong, or worse: that we will be right.
Why?
Why are we afraid of what we can do?
Why do we hold ourselves back?
Why are we terrified of our own brains?
Why are we scared of being right?
4.11.2012
Immortals We Are
There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilization--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.
This does not mean we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, take each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.
-- C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilization--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.
This does not mean we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, take each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.
-- C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
10.19.2011
Whole Desire
How can we want something with our entire being--so completely, so wholey--when we are just a pile of flesh and bones? It's just our brain or our heart or.....but whether it's an idea or a cause or a person--or even just a simple moment of a beautiful sunrise with a steaming mug of coffee in our hands--that thing we desire fills us up, and we can think and feel and hear and taste and touch nothing else. Whether or not we get what we so desire is irrelevant; the capability to feel that way is just remarkable.
3.11.2011
Tassel List Update
UPDATE TIME!!!!!
What should I do before I graduate from college? Here is what I've started with:Ask someone to the Christmas Banquet. >> FAIL. I did not go. I did not go to the Emperor's Ball (aka Spring Banquet). I am sorry. I don't do school events.
Go to a midnight premiere of a movie. >> Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I
Get a piercing or a tattoo or a funky hair streak. >> BLUE HAIR!!
Eat lots of Lucky Charms and oranges in Rhya Moffitt's memory.
Have movie night with Ashley Butler all the time. >> Oh no! She's gone! Can we have Skype night all the time??
Steal a book from the Library. >> Uhhh...This might not ever actually be published.
Swim or wade in a campus fountain.
Do something awesome for spring break. >> I AM IN FREAKING CALIFORNIA!!!!
Go to a Pro Musica concert.
Be spontaneous, all the time. >> I am the epitome of spontaneous.
Go to an Acro show. >> Saw a half-time show. Planning on going to the end-of-year show as well.
See how much you can steal from the cafe at once. >> See #6
Go to Midnight Breakfast, dressed up, at Sonic.
Graduate. >> Workin' on it!!
Befriend someone unexpected. >> Check.
Perform a random act of kindness for someone you don't particularly like. >>Check!
Take a DC Duck Boat tour.
Fly a kite on the Mall.
Go to a rally and make a sign.
Run to the Washington Monument from school.
Watch every HP movie or every LOTR movie or Charlie Brown movie or Land Before Time movie in one day. Or do both. >> Check on HP.
Go to a Supreme Court hearing thing.
Buy a random item of clothing off someone. Not at a high price.
Play Washington D.C. Monopoly on the Mall.
Bike more of the C&O Canal (can't do all of it Mom, sorry.).
Buy an all-day metro pass and ride one of the lines end to end. Or don't buy an all-day pass, ride all of the metro in one day, and see how much it actually costs if you get out of the metro in the same place you got on.
Stay up all night doing something ridiculous with friends.
Finish (or restart because I think eventually I was persuaded to throw the original away after it lived in my trunk for 6 months...) jaimenudd and my Duct Tape Rainbow poster. Do you know, I still have a really little bit of yellow and green duct tape from that?!
Invent a recipe (dish, dessert, drink, etc.).
Paint something (canvas, cupboard, cup, etc.). [Trying to keep the alliteration...]
Take more photos.
Play [more] basketball.
Okay, so I have thought of more things...
33. See sunrise on East Coast.
34. See sunset on West Coast. >> CHECK!
35. Drive around the entire Beltway in one go.
So there's the update! Yes, I am getting some school work done too...
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