5.10.2013

28 Day Experiment (Part 1/?)

If I've learned one thing over the last few months, it's that I know of a list of things that, when I do them, I feel better about myself, my life, my use of time and energy. These are known things. Most of the time they are really simple: making my own coffee, walking to the metro, running, reading, having the dishes immediately done, having laundry folded instead of in a pile on my window seat, getting to inbox zero, etc., etc. These are things that make my life easier, and that translates to a happier life, also. (Which, just for the record, I most definitely have learned much more than this one thing in the last few months, but I digress.)

I used to be an early bird. I was up before 6a for most of my college career, at least during cross-country season. It's amazing what I could get done when I was up that early. Even if I didn't do anything productive, per se, it was calming to feel like the world was mine, before it was anyone else's. The non-cross-country times of my college career didn't seem nearly as organized or fluid or calm -- if it ever really was any of those things, haaa. Now, I'm...who knows. I'm not really a night owl, but I'm not an early bird, either. In fact, I don't really know what I am, at this point.

That's the thing, too. I have this idea of what I think makes my life easier and happier, but I don't stick to any sort of schedule or stay immediately on top of dishes and laundry and email or ensure I have enough time to actually walk to the metro in the morning or whatever it is. I just think, "Oh, this makes me feel best", but then I don't do it, or that may not really be the case at all. There are other activities that I want to try to incorporate, test out, and see what I really do like, what does really work for me.

So, the experiment.

This will probably be a multi-part exercise. I read a blog called raptitude.com, and sometimes the author does experiments like these, and I've been meaning to do one of my own for a while, so here I am. I want to try out multiple..."living arrangements". I'm going to start by being an early bird.

5:31 AM. Every morning but Sunday morning. Starting tomorrow morning.

I'll try a night owl experiment after.

But really, I want to find time to just be. Life moves and shakes and changes so rapidly, and I know I feel my best when I'm not rushed, when I can stop and smell the coffee while it's brewing and stop to see the fake flamingos planted into a neighbor's yard on my walk to the metro.

AND, in between that enjoyment of the small stuff, I want moments for nothing.

To do nothing.
To sit.
To be still.
To breathe.
To surrender.

I like my life the best when I can step outside the pace of the world, let it fly by me, and just watch from the outside, if only for a moment. But there are things that I need to be disciplined and self-motivated about in order to have those moments. That is perhaps my true goal here: I want to rediscover my self-discipline and self-motivation, as I'm growing in my self-awareness, so I am living the life where I am taking care of myself well. I want to be a good friend, good daughter, good sister, good human, but I must simultaneously be good to myself. I must discover and nurture the ways that allow me to grow in all of those capacities.

I am a computer scientist. Though I do not grow organic or inorganic things, nor do I blow things up, or build things up, I do still enjoy a good hypothesis and test. I'll make sure to observe and analyze what happens. Then I'll deliver some results. Gotta love the scientific method! Hahaha.

I should probably go to sleep if I'm going to start this experiment right and get up on time for my first day of it!