HAHAHAHAHA!
12.25.2012
12.06.2012
Little girl grows
"Peek-a-boo!"
Blank stare.
"Want me to hold you?
Blank stare.
"Here, come with me for a little bit."
Picks little girl up.
Huge eyes fill with tears.
Walk in room with crazy hat.
Crying ensues.
Time passes. Little girl grows.
"Peek-a-boo! I'm gonna get your tummy!"
Blank stare.
"Want me to hold you?"
Head shakes "no", then
reaches up.
"Here, come with me for a little while."
Reluctance.
No tears.
Snuggles into chest.
Leave crazy hat at home.
No crying upon entry to room.
Time passes.
Little girl grows.
"I'm gonna get your tummy! Gonna get you!"
Quick smile, then
blank stare.
"Want me to hold you?"
Reaches up immediately.
"Here, stay with me for a while."
Snuggles into chest.
Falls asleep.
Too cute.
Too warm for crazy hat.
Time passes.
Little girl grows.
"Hi! I see you!"
Mischievous smile.
Ignores me.
*sigh*
"I'm gonna get you!"
Chase ensues.
Little girl caught.
Tickled.
Giggles.
Be still my heart.
Playing with toys, "Whatcha got there?"
Whisper. "What is it?"
Ever-so-slightly louder, "A froggie."
HA!
Words!
For me!
Time passes.
Little girl grows.
"Can I get a hug goodbye?"
Little girl jumps into my arms.
Soon she won't be quite a little girl anymore.
"Can I get a kiss goodbye?"
Kiss on cheek.
"I love you. Bye bye!"
"I loooove you!"
What to do about crazy hat now...
Hmm...
Blank stare.
"Want me to hold you?
Blank stare.
"Here, come with me for a little bit."
Picks little girl up.
Huge eyes fill with tears.
Walk in room with crazy hat.
Crying ensues.
Time passes. Little girl grows.
"Peek-a-boo! I'm gonna get your tummy!"
Blank stare.
"Want me to hold you?"
Head shakes "no", then
reaches up.
"Here, come with me for a little while."
Reluctance.
No tears.
Snuggles into chest.
Leave crazy hat at home.
No crying upon entry to room.
Time passes.
Little girl grows.
"I'm gonna get your tummy! Gonna get you!"
Quick smile, then
blank stare.
"Want me to hold you?"
Reaches up immediately.
"Here, stay with me for a while."
Snuggles into chest.
Falls asleep.
Too cute.
Too warm for crazy hat.
Time passes.
Little girl grows.
"Hi! I see you!"
Mischievous smile.
Ignores me.
*sigh*
"I'm gonna get you!"
Chase ensues.
Little girl caught.
Tickled.
Giggles.
Be still my heart.
Playing with toys, "Whatcha got there?"
Whisper. "What is it?"
Ever-so-slightly louder, "A froggie."
HA!
Words!
For me!
Time passes.
Little girl grows.
"Can I get a hug goodbye?"
Little girl jumps into my arms.
Soon she won't be quite a little girl anymore.
"Can I get a kiss goodbye?"
Kiss on cheek.
"I love you. Bye bye!"
"I loooove you!"
What to do about crazy hat now...
Hmm...
11.23.2012
Poem 1
Even in the time
between
seasons,
beauty shines through
when all is laid
bare
Photo credit: meeee :)
between
seasons,
beauty shines through
when all is laid
bare
Photo credit: meeee :)
11.21.2012
I Have Made Mistakes
I have made mistakes, I continue to make them
the promises I've made, I continue to break them
and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them
but nothing is a waste if you learn from it
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
we have lived in fear, and our fear has betrayed us
but we will overcome the apathy that has made us
because we are not alone in the dark with our demons
and we have made mistakes
but we've learned from them
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
and oh my heart, how can I face you now?
when we both know how badly I have let you down
and I am afraid of all I've built
fading away
Artist: The Oh Hello's
Song: I Have Made Mistakes
Album: Through the Deep, Dark Valley
I like sunshine. I like it a lot actually. This may be because I live in a basement currently, and it feels like 5 am down there at 5 am and at noon and at 10 pm. I like sunshine when its beams find my face and warm not only my body but also my soul.
I also enjoy rain, as long as my feet don't get wet. I like rain a lot more lately because it can no longer find its way down my walls to stream across my floor. I like rain when it falls hard and steady and the beating against the ground or my car roof drowns out all the other noise in my life.
This song is one of my favorites by one of my newly favorite bands. For various and sundry reasons, all of the lyrics resonate strongly with me at this time. I am, however, struggling with the sun and rain lyrics. What immediately pops into my head when I think "sun" and "grow" and "rain" are plants. I don't know why, which is part of the reason I'm writing this--I need to see these lyrics for growing people and stop thinking about them as for plants (because plants DO need sun AND rain). Haha! It's just silly.
If I can keep myself completely in humanity and not go off into the jungle, I do think I agree with the lyrics, and I feel like that should be painfully obvious to me and keep the plants out of my mind. What sunny time in one's life was as huge of a catalyst for change and growth as a rainy period? I'm not saying sunny times are bad or that one cannot grow during sunny times. Progress in one's life can be made during laugh-filled adventures down wide avenues lit brightly by the sun. Those are indeed good times, and they are comfortable times. As much as I enjoy my sunny days, I enjoy my sunny days, I look back on them, and I see that eventually they lead to stagnation, and then comes the rain.
Oh how it rains sometimes. And, as a good friend of mine said, "And oh how you learn." The learning curve can be quite steep during the rain. Sometimes you'll slide right back to the beginning of it because you don't know how to--or don't want to--dig in and hold on while you pull yourself, tooth and nail, up the hill.
Eventually you may want to fight. You'll grow tired of sitting with your mistakes in the mud. Stand up. Let the rain wash over you, clean you off. It's never too late to start climbing again. It's never wrong to want to see the sun, to work to make it to the top of the hill, and to have the sun warm you from your soggy, frostbitten toes to your wet, stringy, matted hair.
Just remember, we humans do need both rain and sunshine. How can we enjoy the dry warmth of the sun radiating down on us that shows off all of our best, brightest colors without also having the rain to push us through growth spurts up, up, up closer to the sun?
the promises I've made, I continue to break them
and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them
but nothing is a waste if you learn from it
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
we have lived in fear, and our fear has betrayed us
but we will overcome the apathy that has made us
because we are not alone in the dark with our demons
and we have made mistakes
but we've learned from them
and the sun, it does not cause us to grow
it is the rain that will strengthen your soul
and it will make you whole
and oh my heart, how can I face you now?
when we both know how badly I have let you down
and I am afraid of all I've built
fading away
Artist: The Oh Hello's
Song: I Have Made Mistakes
Album: Through the Deep, Dark Valley
I like sunshine. I like it a lot actually. This may be because I live in a basement currently, and it feels like 5 am down there at 5 am and at noon and at 10 pm. I like sunshine when its beams find my face and warm not only my body but also my soul.
I also enjoy rain, as long as my feet don't get wet. I like rain a lot more lately because it can no longer find its way down my walls to stream across my floor. I like rain when it falls hard and steady and the beating against the ground or my car roof drowns out all the other noise in my life.
This song is one of my favorites by one of my newly favorite bands. For various and sundry reasons, all of the lyrics resonate strongly with me at this time. I am, however, struggling with the sun and rain lyrics. What immediately pops into my head when I think "sun" and "grow" and "rain" are plants. I don't know why, which is part of the reason I'm writing this--I need to see these lyrics for growing people and stop thinking about them as for plants (because plants DO need sun AND rain). Haha! It's just silly.
If I can keep myself completely in humanity and not go off into the jungle, I do think I agree with the lyrics, and I feel like that should be painfully obvious to me and keep the plants out of my mind. What sunny time in one's life was as huge of a catalyst for change and growth as a rainy period? I'm not saying sunny times are bad or that one cannot grow during sunny times. Progress in one's life can be made during laugh-filled adventures down wide avenues lit brightly by the sun. Those are indeed good times, and they are comfortable times. As much as I enjoy my sunny days, I enjoy my sunny days, I look back on them, and I see that eventually they lead to stagnation, and then comes the rain.
Oh how it rains sometimes. And, as a good friend of mine said, "And oh how you learn." The learning curve can be quite steep during the rain. Sometimes you'll slide right back to the beginning of it because you don't know how to--or don't want to--dig in and hold on while you pull yourself, tooth and nail, up the hill.
Eventually you may want to fight. You'll grow tired of sitting with your mistakes in the mud. Stand up. Let the rain wash over you, clean you off. It's never too late to start climbing again. It's never wrong to want to see the sun, to work to make it to the top of the hill, and to have the sun warm you from your soggy, frostbitten toes to your wet, stringy, matted hair.
Just remember, we humans do need both rain and sunshine. How can we enjoy the dry warmth of the sun radiating down on us that shows off all of our best, brightest colors without also having the rain to push us through growth spurts up, up, up closer to the sun?
10.02.2012
Terror of the blank screen
You know what it is?
There are moments when it isn't our race, religion, orientation, or some feeble glass ceiling.
Sometimes we are too scared of having the right idea, of making it big, of being right.
We sabotage ourselves.
We tell ourselves, not explicitly but definitely intentionally, that we can't do something, that we will be wrong, or worse: that we will be right.
Why?
Why are we afraid of what we can do?
Why do we hold ourselves back?
Why are we terrified of our own brains?
Why are we scared of being right?
There are moments when it isn't our race, religion, orientation, or some feeble glass ceiling.
Sometimes we are too scared of having the right idea, of making it big, of being right.
We sabotage ourselves.
We tell ourselves, not explicitly but definitely intentionally, that we can't do something, that we will be wrong, or worse: that we will be right.
Why?
Why are we afraid of what we can do?
Why do we hold ourselves back?
Why are we terrified of our own brains?
Why are we scared of being right?
4.11.2012
Immortals We Are
There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilization--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.
This does not mean we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, take each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.
-- C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilization--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.
This does not mean we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, take each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.
-- C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
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