On the Last Day of 2010, a Tribute to Pixar

I just love them...

Just let me run. Just let me love.

Love Affair by Copeland

Fell past a cheekbone hill
To a piece of her floor
The hope of the world
in an awkward spill

Oh she'd lie on her bed
and stare into harsh white light
and think that her heart's not right

'Cause love took her hand like a thief
took her heart like a robber
and the feelings that scare her
become her relief

Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.

In a flash a heart is slain
you have to ask in all this pain
Was your heart too soft?
Was your love in vain?

Was your kiss too weak?
Were your eyes too tired?
And much too young to be in love
Much too young to be in love

Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.

There are no rules for this love
Just keep your head and don't give up
Like all the fools who play it smart.
Lose your head just for your heart, just for your heart.

More musical usage of Blogger

Okay, so here's the deal. I love 8tracks.com. They have some really awesome mixes, especially ones I like to fall asleep to. However, the playing of music doesn't just stop when that mix is over, it goes to the next random mix 8tracks decides to go to. This makes for waking up in the middle of the night to some very bizarre music. BUT. If I embed the mixes in my blog, it DOES stop. So... Here we are. Musical blog #2. Maybe you'll enjoy it as much as I do.

Using Blogger for Musical Purposes

I'll explain the title of this blog at a later date. Hopefully this actually works. Right now, I just need to go to sleep...

True Soul Mates...?

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.”

~Elizabeth Gilbert

Huh. Maybe...

Stolen from one of my favorite blogs currently, goodmorningandgoodnight.com.

My Senior Year Bucket / Tassel List

I am seriously lacking motivation these days. Motivation for anything really. Maybe it's because it's because this has been a ridiculously long and stressful semester. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the time change. I don't know what it is, but apathy is steadily gaining ground in my psyche, and this is very disturbing to me. Apathy is society's worst enemy. I rail against the apathetic nature of some of my peers. Yet, here I am, infected as they are.

So I'm going to try something to hopefully wake me up, get me back to myself and back on track. Rhya Moffitt, I'm using you for this one. In my stupor of apathy, I completely forgot about your tassel list until I was about to search for "senior year motivation strategies" and "senior year bucket list" came up before I could finish typing. Obviously I had to look at that, and I was kind of excited about some of the things that the person was going to try to do before they graduated. I thought to myself, "I need a Bucket List!" Then, I remembered. I had one, already started for me even! So I'm starting with (most of) your ideas, I've added a few of my own, but I need all of you guys to help me.

What should I do before I graduate from college? Here is what I've started with:

1. Ask someone to the Christmas Banquet.

2. Go to a midnight premiere of a movie.

3. Get a piercing or a tattoo or a funky hair streak.

4. Eat lots of Lucky Charms and oranges in Rhya Moffitt's memory.

5. Have movie night with Ashley Butler all the time.

6. Steal a book from the Library.

7. Swim or wade in a campus fountain.

8. Do something awesome for spring break.

9. Go to a Pro Musica concert.

10. Be spontaneous, all the time.

11. Go to an Acro show.

12. See how much you can steal from the cafe at once.

13. Go to Midnight Breakfast, dressed up, at Sonic.

14. Graduate.

15. Befriend someone unexpected.

16. Perform a random act of kindness for someone you don't particularly like.

17. Take a DC Duck Boat tour.

18. Fly a kite on the Mall.

19. Go to a rally and make a sign.

20. Run to the Washington Monument from school.

21. Watch every HP movie or every LOTR movie or Charlie Brown movie or Land Before Time movie in one day. Or do both.

22. Go to a Supreme Court hearing thing.

23. Buy a random item of clothing off someone. Not at a high price.

24. Play Washington D.C. Monopoly on the Mall.

25. Bike more of the C&O Canal (can't do all of it Mom, sorry.).

26. Buy an all-day metro pass and ride one of the lines end to end. Or don't buy an all-day pass, ride all of the metro in one day, and see how much it actually costs if you get out of the metro in the same place you got on.

27. Stay up all night doing something ridiculous with friends.

28. Finish (or restart because I think eventually I was persuaded to throw the original away after it lived in my trunk for 6 months...) jaimenudd and my Duct Tape Rainbow poster. Do you know, I still have a really little bit of yellow and green duct tape from that?!

29. Invent a recipe (dish, dessert, drink, etc.).

30. Paint something (canvas, cupboard, cup, etc.). [Trying to keep the alliteration...]

31. Take more photos.

32. Play [more] basketball.

I'm going to post this to my blog as well, and I'm going to try to keep record of what I've done and the stories attached to them. I need some accountability until I get my self-accountability and self-motivation back in working order.

Dear Reader...

From dearblankpleaseblank.com:

Dear Reader,

Please do me right now. On the kitchen table. In your bed. On the couch. Hell, I'll even take the floor in front of the T.V. I don't care, I just need you to do me like I've never been done before.

Sincerely,

Your Homework


Motivation, Motivation, wherefore art thou, O Motivation?!

I'm So Excited! I Heart Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too!

All Saints Day

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise.

Seek what they sought."

- Matsuo Basho

For Those Who Wait

Song: For Those Who Wait
By: Fireflight

I just found these guys. I really like them. The lyrics to this song are good ones. The song is great too. Here it is.



This is for those who wait

Another day another waiting game
A little different but it's still the same
I am here but where's the one I'm longing for?

I'm having troubles feeling all alone
Will my heart ever find a home?
I want to hope but sometimes I just don't know
I know I'm not the only one

So you sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free

When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

I want to open up my eyes
I know that I'm in need is time
I'm growing stronger every single day

God, I'm gonna leave them to You now
Letting go of all my fear and doubt
I can't do this on my own, so I'll give you control
I know I'm not the only one

So you sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free

When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the differences makes it worth the wait

So you sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free

When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

Let it set your heart on fire
This is for those who wait



Another really great song by Fireflight: Stand Up

Give Me Your Words

Liberation

"What is the mark of liberation? No longer being ashamed in front of oneself."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

Inception: Can't Go Back Now

Can't Go Back Now by The Weepies

Yesterday, when you were young,
Everything you needed done was done for you.
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone What can you do?

You and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now.

You know there will be days when you're so tired that you can't take another step,
The night will have no stars and you'll think you've gone as far as you will ever get

But you and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now
And yeah, yeah, go where you want to go
Be what you want to be,
If you ever turn around, you'll see me.

I can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself

And you and me walk on
Yeah you and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now

I'm finding grown-up-ed-ness in my face more and more. I'm about to hit my 5th year of college, and just in case you're wondering - no, I'm not a flunkie; I'm a double major. But what am I gonna do after this? Also, I've recently gotten a loan so I could buy my first car. Her name is Helga. Here's a picture:

This is a serious grown-up commitment. She's pretty and fun to drive though. And these are just two major things that I'm facing right now. Of course there are more, but I don't feel like putting them up on the internet.

Dr. Seuss reminds me of all the places I'm going to go. It's going to be scary, but I will make it through, right? Do I have a choice - as the Weepies so eloquently sing it - but to walk on? I've been told being "grown up" is a choice. I don't know that it is. I Can't Go Back Now. But would I even want to go back?

I wasn't really sure where the new movie Inception was going to fit in, but maybe it's now. It's all about levels of reality and dreaming and ideas and ... ? If you've seen it, you understand the ... - maybe. If you haven't seen it, you should. Either way, for a (far better) synopsis, check out IMDB. The link to the movie is at the end of this post. I'm continually amazed by how different life is in the living physical "reality" of the "present" than what I thought it would be a year ago, five years ago, and ten years ago is almost imaginable. I mean, driving a car is still so COOL.

Why isn't life like I pictured it in my head, in my daydreams, in my nightdreams, in my nightmares? Sometimes there are things in my dreams that I wish were true more than anything, but that doesn't make them true. I guess it's good that you can't necessarily dream things into existence. This is not to say I don't believe in the power of positive (or negative) thinking.

I absolutely believe in the power of your brain and what you train it to do. I think there is a heck of a lot more power there than we will every know what to do with.

And still the questions bubble to the surface; questions I'm struggling with and will probably struggle with forever is this - and they aren't jokes, though I do use them in jokes a lot: Where am I? Where am I going? Does that build who I am? How am I built? Will I be able to remain positive, happy, mostly light-hearted despite the questions and the depths they take me to? Or is the world and it's implosions and explosions and demands going to make me into some grumpy grown up? Am I going to be able to live in this child-like reality or is my "kick" gonna come along and pop me into some other layer, some other reality that is not child-like.

I think that might be my worst fear, that I might not be able to hold on to the overwhelming joy that fills my soul some days. Childishness is an attitude, but it does not mean immature.

I love mis-matched flip flops and socks. I love silly hats during the winter. I love snow days, even if that means horrible catch up periods afterwards. I love children's books and my Pirates Guidelines book. If I had rain boots, I'd love jumping in rain puddles. I love Dr. Seuss and my Dr. Seuss sweatshirt. I love my holey jeans. I do not like professional clothes. I love sleeping with my little stuffed panda bears. I love laughing. I love laughing uncontrollably. I love making myself crack up. I love corny jokes and corn-ey jokes. These are the things that can't be left behind in childhood. They just can't.

I love seeing grown up movies like Inception. Despite everything that comes with the questions, I cannot imagine not being able to question - whether the limitation would be in my own body or soul or enforced upon me by some other entity. I LOVE being able to drive (have I said that before? It's literally one of my favorite things to do). I love being able to drive and see places and people. I love not being completely dependent on other people.

I don't care about money. I just want to be happy. I'm even willing to settle for content. But can you get there? And how? And where do you go past that? There's always somewhere you can't get back to: might be a place or a place in time. How do you keep what's the dearest to you without train-wrecking yourself. Why all the dichotomies?

I'm officially rambling, so I'm going to stop. I just felt like I needed to make up for lost time. Enjoy your reality, wherever you are, enjoy it.

Sources:
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/the_weepies/cant_go_back_now.html

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1375666/